Full Throttle

And so it Begins!

Well, Jay and I have embarked upon a massive contest. A marathon struggle of will, as it were. We are going to conduct a mini NaNo WriMo write-off. We have until the end of July to finish a novella, with the goal of 1,000 words per three days. An easy amount, since we each like incredibly intense and busy schedules. So we are off on our own race, with the goal of finishing a nice, tidy story at the end of July. It can provide practice for NaNo WriMo and get us back into the groove of fiction writing. Lord knows, I've stepped away from writing too long and I find the concept of past participles foreign and remote.

From now on, I'll be posting updates every three days, with the passage that I've completed for that writing window. Each window of three days I must finish at least 1,000 words. Each of us will be posting our status via our personal blogs and this status bar will be updated with every 1k of words I write. If I do the minimum of 1,000 words every three days, I should hit around 17,000 by the end of July.

0 / 17 (0.0%)

I'm currently figuring what exactly my story should be. It'll either be a story about an emperor's daughter, an Irish mobster or a loose retelling of the Odyssey set in the future and Odysseus as an Arabic Catholic space captain.

Follow my progress here and follow Jay's progress here!

Snow and the Ball

I missed President Bush's State of the Union speech, most peeved by that. However, it does lighten my soul to see this total idiot get arrested. Yea, she was breaking the LAW. Why does she think just because she is "protesting" a cause that everything now doesn't apply to her? Man. Liberals.

I played football today. Because the entire sports team was gone, it was just me and six Freshmen. Turned into Everyone vs. Caleb. I think the final score was like 52-28, my favor. Pretty epic game. I pegged a guy so hard at the scrimmage line that he was totally airborne, flying back a good foot or two. That was widely regarded as the most epic moment there. The other moment I liked is when I had three kids hanging off my and I managed to inch towards the touchdown zone. Good fun. I love playing football in 8 degrees in a deep snowfield.

I hate Math. Very much so. Let that be known now. During study group, we devolved into a large conversation about Conductors and why they have to move around so much. I proposed the theory that they should set the Conductor's hair on fire, thus creating a dancing, waving man try to run a large concert while jumping around. The hilarity this would bring would cause the watcher to forget the horrible racket he's listening to in the first place.

Tomorrow, I'm taking Sarah to see Memoirs of a Geisha. Weeeeee...

People really need to be reading Alpha Shade. This stuff is GOLD.

Ok everyone, I'm chilling and grilling, feeling and billing.

Billing? Man...what.
- Maddog
mr. rogers in a blood-stained sweater

Hunting In The Bedroom

Man, forgot guns or arrows. Try hunting deer, with your own bare hands....in your own bedroom. This dude is freakin' awesome. He killed a deer. With his own bare hands. By twisting it's neck.

That is three levels of macho-ness in one deed. You'd like.....achieve epic status of macho-ness if you did that. Badass is the proper word at this stage.

- Maddog
bullet with a name

How To Do It

    Man, I've got broken bowls all over. The cat knocked over some dishes in my studio and now I've got old food and porcelain everywhere. Now I actually have to clean my desk. Stupid, stupid cat. Modest Mouse is such a good band, but you all know this because you are......badass.....readers. Oh noes, I didn't!

    Sarah drew me the coolest, most kickin' and downright totally pimpin' Maddog logo that looks utterly sexy. It's the coolest Maddog ever. I'm thinkin' it'd look awesome tattoo'd on my shoulder. I hate to make that kind of permanent decision. If there was an easy way to remove tattoos, I'd totally do it. I just don't want to get ten years down the road and be a respect Professor.....with a gangsta tattoo. Only if I was a Professor of Punk. They'd call me Dr. Rhymn.

    I'd totally go to that college....

   Once I get the logo scanned, I'm going to colorize it and slap it up at the site. It's so cool.

    Uh, what else should I report on? Oh! Dr. James Dobson is an idiot. He created something called "Twelve Steps of a Progressive Relationship" or "The Christian Way of Being Able To Get Some: A Priest's Handbook". What's worse is I learned all this at my Pre-Martial/Courtship Counseling course. I tried really hard not to laugh when everyone was taking it so seriously. Here's the scoop:
    It says that there is twelve steps of a relationship. I shall list them to you. This is not a parody. This actually exists.

Warning: If you don't like things that might mean something that they don't mean right off the bat, don't read it. Yea, get out of here you whiners!

1. Eye-to-body - Basically, checking them out, seizing up the merchandise, etc. The textbook actually said "oogling". I smirked.
2. Eye-to-eye - They see you, you see them, your chances go up a little.
3. Voice-to-voice - You finally get the guts to ask her out using cheesy pick-up line
4. Hand-to-hand - Helping her down from the car, blah, blah. Getting there...
5. Hand-to-shoulder - Putting an arm around her, pulling the yawn maneuver
6. Hand-to-waist - Important step here...
7. Face-to-face - This is where I started getting in danger of making a scene. It's suppose to be steady eye contact, sharing deep, personal thoughts. And of course, sucking face. I thought for sure the next step was tongue-to-tongue but no.
8. Hand-to-head - Nope. It's more emotional closeness.
9. Hand-to-body - Nope. Still more emotional closeness.
10. Hand-to-breast - I started laughing here.
11. Hand-to-below-waist - I kid you not. This was an actual step. Man, I was losing it.
12. "Intercourse"

There you go. If you are a Catholic Priest, I'd take notes.

This is directly FROM the course textbook. I call it the "Christian Version of First Base, Second Base, Third Base, etc". It's like a how-to manual!

Good ole' Dobson!

- Maddog
we could live by the sea

Back, Boys

I'm back. Took a several day road trip down to Valdez, a remote Alaska town, with my Pop in my Toyota pickup truck. Pretty awesome and man, did I get some totally incredibe pictures. We ended up going to McCarthy and the Kennicott mine. Really cool stuff, for the Kennicott mine had been around since the early 1900s.

To get to Valdez, we went across Thompson pass, which is a high-altitude pass that already had snow in it when we went over it.  You can find pictures at my Skiddlision Album, once I upload them.

...Right after the newest Lost episode.

- Ma-dizzle
G to the double e K

Yarr!

Yarr, ye landlubbers! Avast ya scurvy dawgs and scrub ye planks until they shine! Shiver me ships and hoist me timbers! 'tis but a fine day for a walkin' ye plank. Me First Mate, do the honor! Avast these scurvy scum, for dead men tell no tales! Me will grab thee wench an' shiver 'ur timbers! Ahoy Mateys! I be off.

- Captain Maddog The Red
yo, ho, ho an' a bottle of rum

A Poast!

A post for Miss J, because she is special like that!